When Fairness Fails

Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately? Fairness.

We need to talk about fairness.

Here is what I know and what I’ve experienced when things are “fair”

Fairness is tidy.
Fairness is measurable.
Fairness makes adults feel like we’ve done our job and fans the ego of those who made the cut.

Fairness is “yes or no”, “right or wrong”, “in or out” “black or white”. It leaves no room for nuance.

Everyone auditions.
Everyone is judged by the same criteria.
If you can meet said criteria you are in. If you cannot you are out.

Fair.

Except here’s the problem:

Fairness assumes we all started from the same place. Fairness assumes some sort of sameness.
The thing about it is, we didn’t, and we are not.

Fairness, with all its good intentions, often protects systems more than it protects people.

And when someone says, “Well, it’s not fair if we include that person when they didn’t meet the same criteria.” what they’re often really saying is, “We do not see the benefit in adjusting the system.”

Now, let’s talk about Inclusion: Inclusion asks harder questions.

Inclusion asks:
Who did this process leave out?
Who was this designed for?
Who never had a real chance?

Inclusion ushers us into imagination.
It makes a way for creativity.
It requires us to hold discomfort without getting defensive.

Inclusion invites us into a way of being that is expansive.

Fairness says, “These are the rules.”

Inclusion says, “Let’s re-examine the rules.”

Fairness maintains order.

Inclusion changes outcomes.

If a child is excluded because of a skill they cannot change, and no alternative pathway is offered, that is not neutral. It may feel procedural. It may feel objective. But outcomes matter.

If the result is the same group of kids always getting access and the same group always being told “maybe next time,” or “what about the special program?” then the system is not inclusive and it will remain stale and stagnant.

Here’s what I believe:

It is not radical to ask for creative pathways.
It is not unreasonable to expect thoughtful accommodation.
It is not “special treatment” to remove barriers that never needed to exist in the first place.

It is justice.

And justice is rarely ordered and tidy.

So here’s my invitation to you:

This week, look at one system in your world — your classroom, your workplace, your team, your church, your community group.

Ask yourself:

Are we being fair?
Or are we being inclusive?

Who might be sitting just outside the door because the criteria never considered them? Or who might be sitting alone at home because no matter how hard they try, they never would have met the criteria? Are we better as humans, better systemically because we left them out completely?

And what would it look like — not to lower the bar — but to widen the doorway?

Because fairness is comfortable.

Inclusion is courageous.

And courage is what moves us forward.