6 Comments

I don't even have the words to say how much I appreciate this post, and how much I wish there were no reason to write it.

Expand full comment

This is the same situation with my senior son this year. He “knows” a lot of kids in the hallways and they say hi and sometimes eat lunch with him, but he’s never been to a dance. He’s too shy to ask a girl and I’m terrified she’d say no anyway. It’s a weird place to be in. My heart breaks for him over and over when I see what he’s missing. But I also feel so guilty that I didn’t set things up for better success by getting to know some of his peers better and inviting them over more. It’s hard for the introvert in me!! Such mixed emotions on this topic, but you put it beautifully.

Expand full comment

Heather, I read this piece in Mother Jones and immediately thought of you (apologies for the long link):

https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2024/10/when-inclusion-fails-kids-education-disabilities-idea/

I would love to hear your thoughts, particularly about this paragraph:

"Fuchs told me his research team created a national database of reading data from 1998 through 2015 for students grades K-12. After analyzing the data using 'multilevel growth models,' they found 'that mainstreaming, or general classroom placements, did not strengthen the academic achievement of most students with disabilities.' In 2022, the Campbell Collaboration, an international research organization, published a report saying inclusion did not seem to show any positive academic or social-emotional benefit to students. In fact, students who were taught separately in settings designed for them experienced better outcomes."

Expand full comment

😬We are fighting the same battles we’ve fought for decades. Keep using your voice, and everyone reading this, to change the narrative. Change the process and the outcomes. We love you, Avis family, and all of this community. Someday, this system, along with many other systems, will be changed. We will advocate and actively fight. I don’t want to miss this! ☺️

Expand full comment

I'm so sorry. I wonder if you or your husband could take Macy to the Homecoming dance? Maybe she would think it's awesome for her dad to be her date. Praying for Macy in this situation - and for her to have more friends at school.

Expand full comment

I’m sorry you’re hurting! I know parents of non-disabled students who hurt for their kids lack of friends and belonging too. We want to fix things for them, force things to be better. But sometimes we just can’t. I love your plan for a dance party at home! The teen years are hard and I hope your daughter can avoid the worst of it. She should keep shining her light, regardless of who chooses to cherish it! In way of hope, I have seen some amazing college and adult programs that have built awesome inclusivity for students of all abilities.

Expand full comment